A rough day all around
July 8th 2009 03:39
This has been quite a day. Hell, it's been quite a month, but today was a real crap fest.
My grandmother was finally moved into assisted living this week, and while it is for the best, she isn't handling it well. Which is understandable. I wouldn't take too kindly to having others decide where I should live, when I should eat, etc. But, my Grandmother's anxiety has taken quite a toll on me emotionally, and I guess I just needed to vent.
I spoke with her on the phone today, and she just laid into me about how I should be there with her. Unfortunately, it's not that simple for me to just drop everything to travel the 300 miles to the city where she lives. I just spent over 2 weeks with her not that long ago, and a week before that to attend my grandfather's funeral. I kind of have to stay put for a while to get back into the swing of things here. I wish I could be there, but right now I just can't.
I also had to take my brother to the emergency room today because he injured his neck while lifting weights. So, now I have to nurse him a bit. My husband is gone to work as usual...and I'm just really feeling alone tonight. A friend came over a while ago to visit, but she had to leave.
Sometimes I feel like I take on everyone else's problems, and I just don't take care of myself. I am constantly worried about my family and friends, and every once in a while I would just like a moment to be selfish. I realize that I write blogs about the fun things that I do and the crazy times that I have, but really... lately I'm just sort of feeling down. I feel like I always have advice to give when people are going through hard times, but I don't take my own advice. Which is my fault, I know.
It's just hard to be alone right now with all of this crap swirling through my brain. I'm just sad tonight. I need a hug or something. Maybe something stronger
I just wish I could shut my brain off for a while. Bllaaahhh.
Oh well. Sorry if this was depressing.
My grandmother was finally moved into assisted living this week, and while it is for the best, she isn't handling it well. Which is understandable. I wouldn't take too kindly to having others decide where I should live, when I should eat, etc. But, my Grandmother's anxiety has taken quite a toll on me emotionally, and I guess I just needed to vent.
I spoke with her on the phone today, and she just laid into me about how I should be there with her. Unfortunately, it's not that simple for me to just drop everything to travel the 300 miles to the city where she lives. I just spent over 2 weeks with her not that long ago, and a week before that to attend my grandfather's funeral. I kind of have to stay put for a while to get back into the swing of things here. I wish I could be there, but right now I just can't.
I also had to take my brother to the emergency room today because he injured his neck while lifting weights. So, now I have to nurse him a bit. My husband is gone to work as usual...and I'm just really feeling alone tonight. A friend came over a while ago to visit, but she had to leave.
I need a hug
Sometimes I feel like I take on everyone else's problems, and I just don't take care of myself. I am constantly worried about my family and friends, and every once in a while I would just like a moment to be selfish. I realize that I write blogs about the fun things that I do and the crazy times that I have, but really... lately I'm just sort of feeling down. I feel like I always have advice to give when people are going through hard times, but I don't take my own advice. Which is my fault, I know.
It's just hard to be alone right now with all of this crap swirling through my brain. I'm just sad tonight. I need a hug or something. Maybe something stronger
I just wish I could shut my brain off for a while. Bllaaahhh.Oh well. Sorry if this was depressing.
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Polar bears are my favourite animal.
I love that photo.
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
My list of favorite animals goes like this...
Cats (Big and small)
Bats
Owls
Polar Bears
But really I love them all.
Thanks Bryn.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
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Movie Train
i guess we all just have to work with what we've got
i can always rationalise being selfish, i just think 99% of people have domestic partners to look after them and i dont, so really i would be silly not to put myself first, because noone else will
that being said i always have time for people because i enjoy them . . . ill send you an email
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
I have been thinking a lot about selfishness lately. I think I need to just allow myself to surrender to some of the things that I've been holding back on. I don't mean forsaking all others, but just... life is short, right? I need to reread my pursuit of pleasure post from a couple of weeks ago.
Comment by Just Writing
I and Me
Just Writing
As I have elderly parents who are about to go from an independent living situation to a nursing home, I have a great deal of sympathy for your grandmother, but more for you and what you are going through. It doesn't get easier according to my cousin who spent the last several years going through it with her mother.
I know you want words of encouragement and here they are, you will adjust, you will cope, and you will get hugs, soon. I'm sending several, my poodle, Roux is sending sloppy poodle kisses and paw pats to help too. It's tough, but you can endure, and at least she's still with you to complain.
I hope something I said makes some sense out of what you are going through.
Janice
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
It is hard, but just taking a moment to realize I'm not the only one in history who has had to deal with the situation does put things into perspective. I suppose it would help if i didn't have a few other things bumping around in my brain at the moment.
I gladly accept the hugs, and I'm quite thrilled indeed for a sloppy poodle kiss! I used to have a poodle. A little black one. He was so sweet!
Thanks dear.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Nevar
Is Why
When your seals hugs you, all your worries fade away and a smile blossoms.
These trials will pass Natalina, or we send in the huggin seals!
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
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Hugging seals would also likely less deadly than hugging polar bears. I want to hug a seal right now!
Thanks for sending some joy my way, Nevar!
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Comment by Cheryl J
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Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
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Thanks for the international huggage. I accept!