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Entertainment - My Life My Muse

Pretty Pictures

September 30th 2009 06:49
I'm feeling wildly cosmic and in tune with the Universe these past couple of days. I was going to write all about how much perspective I've gained of late and how peaceful I've allowed myself to become, but instead I think I'll just share some pretty pictures. If I go on too much about cosmic oneness and healing positive light.... you'll accuse me of being A. Hippy Dippy New Age Freakshow B. Nuts or C. Stoner.

Pretty pictures it is! Although, the pictures in and of themselves and whether or not they are pretty is a matter of personal taste. Ha! Don't care

This is my attempt to put a little bit of beauty out there during this time of Koyaaniskatsi, which is a word of the Hopi Nation...and means Life out of Balance.

Tree Lady


Takato Yamamoto
Takato Yamamoto




Fortune Teller








Spider Veil






Woman on Lake






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Natalina wants a melt down of her very own

September 26th 2009 06:07
All of life is suffering right? Hmmm. Seems so.

It isn't easy being the person that picks up the pieces for everyone else. I've taken this role my entire life. Whether it's through work or in daily interpersonal relationships....Natalina is the shoulder. Natalina is the rock. Natalina keeps it together so you don't have to.

Mostly I don't mind. My personality is that of a nurturer I suppose. I want to help. I want to hug you and hold you and cry with you. I want to break my back doing everything possible to get you through whatever trials you're facing. I ask for nothing in return. I am here. I'm just here.

I'll be honest. It takes a toll. 2009 has been a crappy year to say the least, and while the shit storm swirls around me it seems I've become so preoccupied trying to help others deal with their trauma...I've been neglecting myself. And here's the worst part. I keep taking on more shit! I'll explain...



Through my other blog...(here comes the plug) ExtraordinaryIntelligence.com, I've made myself very available to my readers. I display an email address, and I've set up a Myspace to gather readers to discuss the fascinating topics that I regularly write about (Plug #2). While I've drawn in my fair share of insanely crazy people (who can forget werewolf boy) I've also made some great friends. But...

In this specific case, I got involved with what I thought was completely benign correspondence with a reader. We shared some laughs and all was well. Until it wasn't. Until he began to display some rather strange behavior. The poor guy started spilling his guts to me and I realized what a hard life he had. I tried to be there for him, and before I knew what was happening, I became the one he turned to whenever he was hanging on to sanity by a thread. His stories broke my heart and I made myself completely available to him as he tried to work through all of his crap.

Tonight as I write this...I am sick with worry because he just broke up with his girlfriend and his heart is so wrecked... he's been saying some really frightening things. I'm terrified of what he might do in this vulnerable state, and once again my stress level is through the damn roof!



This is the second time in two weeks that I've been up late trying to talk someone down from the ledge. The part that I hate the most is this nagging feeling of resentment that's been gnawing at the back of my brain. It is such an evil feeling, but it is there. Part of me just wants to scream into the sky, "HEY! Does anyone know the kind of bullshit I've been through lately??? Does anyone give a damn??"

I recently shared with a dear friend my overwhelming desire to have a nervous breakdown of my very own. I want to just melt down and scream and cry. I want to be completely unreasonable and consumed with self pity. Isn't that awful? There's a part of me that just wants to wallow in the selfish pursuit of a violent but cathartic temper tantrum. I suppose that's partly the purpose of this post.



That said... I can't let myself go down that road. I can't let that darkness consume me. I am emotionally mature enough to know that it would solve nothing, and would only make others feel the kind of desperation that I've been feeling for the last few months. So no. I won't come unhinged, and I'll continue to try to be there for my friends and family. And maybe I'll try to make a smidge of room for myself.

Now for the disclaimer. I hesitate to post this in fear that someone reading it will worry that I'm talking about them. I am in no way saying that I don't want friends in need to turn to me. I am always here for my friends. ALWAYS. Those of you most dear to me know that I would sooner amputate my left kneecap than leave you when you're feeling sad.

I'm just going to surround myself with white light and realign my chi...smudge some sage and assume the lotus position for a while. (No comments from the peanut gallery about my new agey weirdness. I won't have it!!! LOL)

Momma just needed to vent a little bit. She's fine.

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Fun stuff for the spreading of the happiness!

September 16th 2009 11:30
Happy Wennnzzzzzday!

Natalina has been away for a while hasn't she? My bad. I'll make it up to you. Here are a few random items that are sure to make you smile...at least a little. SMILE DANG IT!

First of all, if you haven't heard about the Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the VMA's debacle...can you please tell us how the weather is underneath that rock? Google it if you really haven't seen it. Anyway, basically his speech went something like.."Yo Taylor...I'm really happy for you..and I'm gonna let you finish..but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!" The only reason I bring this up is because the following image really cracked me up.




Question: How horny do you have to be to bust your car into a sex shop and steal a naughty toy? I would say you'd have to be pushing at least a 9.7 on a horniness scale from 1-10. This guy is at an 11...watch.



I'm going to admit to you up front that it could be the lack of sleep that made this next clip so funny to me. But the demonic singing fish from hell you are about to witness cracked my ass up like nothing has in some time. Seriously... I'm still laughing.



I came upon this one a while back. I had to do some research to authenticate it. In other words, this video is so outlandishly cheeseball, I thought perhaps someone faked it. Thankfully...this is 100% supposed to be taken seriously, which therefore makes it that much more ri-damn-diculous! Remember...A Whisker Watch Alert is in Effect! (Watch the vid, you'll see what I mean!)



This one is silly. A group of peeps got together for a jam session on the new Beatles Rock Band game. What you really need to watch here is the lingering in and out of consciousness of the back up singer. Hilarious! Try not to be too distracted by all of the stuff hanging on the walls in this home. Truthfully though...there's a lot of stuff on the walls!



I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who grunts and moans inappropriately while eating ice cream.



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Poodle Humiliation

August 29th 2009 14:10
I can't tell if this is the most obnoxiously amusing thing I've ever seen, or if someone needs to get PETA on the phone STAT!

Poodles have been blessed/cursed with the kind of boingy and moldable fur that just begs human beings to shave them into creative and unique coifs. These poor things have been subjected to some of the most embarrassing buzz and dye jobs I've seen.

The full article can be found at MailOnline, where photographer Ren Netherland says, "The dogs seem to love the whole experience."

On the subject of poodles, am I the only one who is totally over people cross breeding poodles with other dogs just so that they can call them an oodle name? Cockadoodle, Labradoodle, Pugaboodle (I think I made that one up but it made me giggle), you get the idea. Stop it! It officially stopped being cute! That said, I'm going to oodle-ize each of these pictures, because I'm cooler than you.

Camadoodle


Ponydoodle


Buffaloodle. Also known as Bisonoodle (hehehe)


Peacaboodle (Hahahahaha!)


Pittsburgh Steelers Footboodle


This little guy looks like he's all about being transformed into a Panda Boodle


A Midsummer Night's Droodle (I can't stop)


Escargoodle


Captain Jack Spoodle


Cockadoodledoodle (Hahahaheheheheeehee!)


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Naughty Natalina tangles with the Law!

August 27th 2009 21:47
For those of you who know me well, it should come as no shock to you that I've had yet another encounter with the police. The MAN is always trying to keep me down.

Last night, or I should say early this morning, was no different. The facts are these.

At approximately 2:15 am, I was in front of my computer writing. As always, I have multiple windows open, including my email. As I sat there getting pumped up by the rebellious music I was listening to (I believe it was Enya), my road dog Angie instant messaged me.

We exchanged a few pleasantries, when I decided to take a walk on the wild side. I sent her a message saying, "You want to go on a short and boring adventure with me?" I believe her reply was "Hell yeah! Where are we going?" I informed her that I had a Red Box movie to return to Wal Mart, and I was in serious need of a Diet Coke. She thought that sounded like kick ass fun, so I put on my pants and went to pick her up. This is where the real Anarchy begins.



As I pulled my ride up to her front door, I had my radio blasting. Ok, I was blasting a bit of talk radio, but it was LOUD! Hell yes! She climbed into the car, and we were off! First stop...Wally World. Ran in. Dropped off the DVD. (The Soloist) Got back into the car. Drove to the gas station. Got two...count them TWO Diet Cokes (Hardcore!), and left.

We drove the approximately 3 and a half blocks back to Angie's crib, and decided to have a brief chat before she went back inside. We chatted for about 20 minutes to a half an hour...maybe not quite that long. I had my door open because my car decided that it hates me and along with it's various other problems, the driver's side window stopped working. We were in the process of checking out some of the features of her swanky new cell phone when...you guessed it. The Po Po showed up.

We assumed that he was going to tell us to move the car to make way for the street cleaner. Little did we know, we were in trouble!

"What are you two ladies doing out here?" he asked. We replied honestly. "Nothing. Talking."

"Why are you parked out here?" he inquired. Again, honesty is the best policy. "Because she lives here." I told him.

My Backup Plan


He proceeded to inform us that someone reported us as being "suspicious". Which is hilarious. My little silver plastic car. Two 30-ish gals sitting there drinking diet coke and marveling over the miraculous technology of a new phone. Maybe a giggle or two here and there. So menacing!

Of course, he asked to see my Driver's License to determine if there were any warrants for my arrest. Hilariously, Angie asked him, "Do you want to see mine too?" Yeah, we're bad ass! The officer accepted her ID.

He also brought to my attention that a second officer had arrived on the scene. I turned around just in time to catch a little flashlight to the eyeballs. I politely said hello to the new arrival. They both continued to quiz us about why we were sitting outside at 3am, and that there had to be SOME reason why they were called. We kept telling them that we were just sitting there talking. We knew instantly that it was Angie's bat shit crazy neighbor lady who called. She's evil incarnate. And crazy. Bad combo.

Nice to see that I'm not the only one getting harassed for BS reasons!


It was around this point that it was becoming clear to the officers that Angela and I were no menaces to society, and their time was officially wasted. After assuring that neither of us were fugitives on the run, he handed the IDs back to us and they left. BAD BOYS BAD BOYS...WHATCHA GONNA DO???

The reason that I share this story is because I find it terribly funny. I'm not going to say that I've never done anything illegal. I have. But I've never been caught. However, I have had numerous unnecessary encounters with the law when I am doing absolutely NOTHING wrong!

When I was a bit younger, I wanna say between the ages of 20-22, my friends gathered at my apartment to throw me a surprise birthday party. It was literally the most innocent of parties you could imagine. Granted, there were a LOT of people crammed into the place, but as it was a very diverse group of ages, the party was incredibly tame. There was pizza. There was 7-Up Punch. There was a birthday cake shaped like a Care Bear. Rock on!



Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. More party guests? No! It was the police, saying that they had received complaints about a wild party that was happening. The best part is that the building I lived in at the time was mostly populated by crack heads. Literally. Whomever called the 5-0 probably made sure to stash their crack pipe in a safe location before doing so.

They did a thorough search of the apartment, which must have been very funny to them. The cops were at my building all of the time, and never left empty handed. But this time all they could turn up was some festive B-day cake and a few empty Domino's boxes. I think they got the hint that their search was useless when the noticed my 60 year old coworker Helen sitting on the floor in the corner playing with my cat Azrael.

Somewhere deep inside the files kept by Law Enforcement, is a file on a woman named Natalina, who according to the information gathered on the scene is the most boring person in the world. My wild nights include home made cartoon cakes and late night Diet Coke runs. And Angie was present on both occasions. I blame her for my life of non-crime.

Damn the Man!
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Don't call your boss a pervy wanker on Facebook (Updated with my own passive aggressive note)

August 13th 2009 07:16
Some idiot, feeling rather disgruntled about her job, decided to spout off about it on her Facebook page. The problem? She seems to have forgotten that she added her boss as a Facebook friend. This is what happens when you're that stupid:


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Further Adventures of Natalina

August 12th 2009 11:29
It's been a while since I've shared some of my wacky adventures, but this by no means is because I've stopped having them. They continue to occur, and my life is no less a series of ridiculous scenarios than it ever was.

The other day, I was driving to Blockbuster, listening to music, and just generally enjoying my afternoon. I pulled into the parking lot and entered the building. After spending a loooong time in the store, I finally made a few selections. Two of the movies I rented were great, one was so-so, and one SUCKED the life right out of me


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How to ruin a movie

August 9th 2009 23:01
Dear Movie Companies and Trailer making folks,

Please do not inform me in the trailer or T.V. spot for a movie that there is some sort of a crazy plot twist that will leave me breathless. This will only encourage me to obsess about what this "twist" is, and lead me to figure it out in the first 5 minutes of the film, thus ruining any potential enjoyment that I might have received from said movie were I not expecting this earth shattering "twist


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Real Commercials that make me REALLY uncomfortable

August 5th 2009 08:03
Sometimes, advertisers just cross a line....a fine line between good taste and utterly disturbing. It really makes you wonder how these commercials ever made it past the planning stage. For that matter, how did these products ever come into being?

Demo for the Facial Flex....2 billion kinds of wrong are going on with this contraption.

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Coming to terms with one's own immaturity

July 23rd 2009 03:56
As I do believe I've discussed before, and likely is evidenced by a variety of my posts.... I've got a rather strange sense of humor. While at times I like sarcasm and witty banter, other times my mind is planted square in the gutter. And it isn't just the dirty jokes that I love. I sadly find myself laughing hysterically at the most juvenile of gags.

I've accepted this. I've embraced it. But sometimes....sometimes I catch myself off guard with my own immaturity. You'd really think I have the mentality of a teenage boy at times


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Screaming Frogs and Stoned Cops

July 17th 2009 02:55
A buddy of mine loves to send me crazy videos. This week, he outdid himself, so I thought I would include a few of them here. These are the best of the best. Enjoy!


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PS 22: Hope for the future and food for the soul

July 9th 2009 06:30
These kids renew my faith in humanity. There is something so deeply touching about the emotion they convey as they sing. Along with their inspiring music teacher, Gregg Breinberg, the kids of Public School 22 have become an online sensation, and you can't help but just feel GOOD as you watch them.

Most of the kids in Breinberg's music class are underprivileged, below the poverty line, have learning disabilities, or only know English as a second language. But somehow, he's inspired soulful performances from these grade school kids, and they've gained them some very famous fans like Stevie Nicks, Tori Amos, and Neil Finn of Crowded House


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Thank God I'm not allergic

July 3rd 2009 02:51
Most people I've spoken with have never been stung by a bee or a wasp or a hornet in their lives. Good for them. I, on the other hand, seem to pull them in like a tractor beam.

It was less than a month ago that a hornet got me right on my right butt cheek. Of course, I did sit on it. I suppose I'd react similarly in that situation. I've probably been stung about 8 billion times in my life (rough estimate) and today was just another hash mark on the tally


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A few more pics from around town

June 30th 2009 07:26
I realized that there were a few pictures that I neglected to post in my last entry: My Photos from My City So without any fanfare introduction, here are the missing pics.

Another day...another train

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