I don't take meds, I don't make beds: Reasons why I'm Insufferable
June 12th 2009 03:14
I can tell that my Grandmother is getting a little tired of my face these last few days. It seems that literally everything I do is annoying to her. Sure, I have my quirks, but damn it...I think I'm basically easy on the nerves (not to mention the eyes..lol).
Numero Uno on her laundry list of complaints is that I don't like making my bed. Never mind that I have been doing all manner of strenuous house work and errands since I've been here. No. I am a lazy bum because I don't make the effing bed. Sorry. I don't do it. I see no point in it. I'm a clean person. I just don't make the bed. I wash sheets...I just don't make the bed. I hate making the bed. And why do I make the bed when I'm going to use it again in a few hours? I don't make the bed. I won't make the bed. No bed making, I said! My husband asked me once why I never make the bed. I told him to do it himself. He said his mom always makes the beds. I ain't your mama.
Numero Dos...I don't like to take asprin or advil or any other such thing when I have a headache. I generally like a more natural cure
, or nothing at all. Not that I NEVER take that stuff, but rarely. Grandma thinks that I should take asprin every hour on the hour, as a preventative headache remedy. NO! I had a tickle in my throat the other day and she practically force fed me Robitussin, like I was a toddler. She went on to tell me that she takes Robitussin all the time. That....explains a lot. My g'ma is a rollin' Rober. ha!
Number 3...I get kinda hot when it is 85 degrees outside and we can't open any windows. Literally, the woman is always cold, and I am a freak because I am sweating my butt off. Seriously, my butt is sweaty. I would not be shocked if I have little crescent shaped wet marks under each cheek. I'm terribly enchanting, no?
Letter D.....I kinda sorta might have accidentally said the s-h-i-t word in front of her. But it wasn't in a bad way. You need to hear it in context. I think it was something like this, "What's this shit?" in reference to some kind of nasty mystery meat I found in the deep freeze.
The good news is that I actually have lost weight since being here. And given the copious amounts of cookies I've been eating, along with a LOT of pudding, it truly is a shock.
Also, I've discovered a way to use the shower chair without getting eaten by it. You have to sit on it backwards with your feet against the wall and your back against the other wall. This way, the slippery bum sits behind the hole, and you are still properly braced to prevent some other disaster. Truth be told, I only was involved in that scenario once. I've since become a fan of the sponge bath in the sink.
Two more days...two more days...two more days....
This may as well be a picture of my brain right now!
Numero Uno on her laundry list of complaints is that I don't like making my bed. Never mind that I have been doing all manner of strenuous house work and errands since I've been here. No. I am a lazy bum because I don't make the effing bed. Sorry. I don't do it. I see no point in it. I'm a clean person. I just don't make the bed. I wash sheets...I just don't make the bed. I hate making the bed. And why do I make the bed when I'm going to use it again in a few hours? I don't make the bed. I won't make the bed. No bed making, I said! My husband asked me once why I never make the bed. I told him to do it himself. He said his mom always makes the beds. I ain't your mama.
Numero Dos...I don't like to take asprin or advil or any other such thing when I have a headache. I generally like a more natural cure
, or nothing at all. Not that I NEVER take that stuff, but rarely. Grandma thinks that I should take asprin every hour on the hour, as a preventative headache remedy. NO! I had a tickle in my throat the other day and she practically force fed me Robitussin, like I was a toddler. She went on to tell me that she takes Robitussin all the time. That....explains a lot. My g'ma is a rollin' Rober. ha!Number 3...I get kinda hot when it is 85 degrees outside and we can't open any windows. Literally, the woman is always cold, and I am a freak because I am sweating my butt off. Seriously, my butt is sweaty. I would not be shocked if I have little crescent shaped wet marks under each cheek. I'm terribly enchanting, no?
Letter D.....I kinda sorta might have accidentally said the s-h-i-t word in front of her. But it wasn't in a bad way. You need to hear it in context. I think it was something like this, "What's this shit?" in reference to some kind of nasty mystery meat I found in the deep freeze.
The good news is that I actually have lost weight since being here. And given the copious amounts of cookies I've been eating, along with a LOT of pudding, it truly is a shock.
Also, I've discovered a way to use the shower chair without getting eaten by it. You have to sit on it backwards with your feet against the wall and your back against the other wall. This way, the slippery bum sits behind the hole, and you are still properly braced to prevent some other disaster. Truth be told, I only was involved in that scenario once. I've since become a fan of the sponge bath in the sink.
Two more days...two more days...two more days....
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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i never ever make my bed either, it seems like a waste of energy, plus im generally the only one who sees it, if my housemates dont like it they can close the door
although i do like my aspirin, i go through heaps of aspirin, i like the aspro clear that dissolves in water, its a means of hydrating myself, and if i have a bit of aspirin throughout the day i dont need to take as many hardcore painkillers for my back later
Comment by Tracy
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Comment by Natalina
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Tracy, isn't that the cutest/most pathetic picture you've ever seen?
Comment by Tracy
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Comment by Cheryl J
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Yo are such a crack up. I keep picturing you on the shower chair deathtrap...is it wrong that I'm picturing you naked? Ha!
Bed schmed. I only make it properly if someone is coming over, otherwise I just pull the covers up, or down if I'm airing it. I wash the linen and that's all I care about.
You should learn to like drugs hahahaha. I could just imagine if you took one of my oxycontin, you'd be flying in the stratosphere for about 12 hours. The only noticeable thing for me now is pain relief but I remember when I first started taking them I was as high as a kite for a week!
Comment by Natalina
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Tell you what, Cheryl. If it makes you feel better, I'll imagine you naked, ok? Here I go. Oooh uh..oh..ahem...what was I saying??
Comment by Morgan Bell
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haha
Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth
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Comment by Natalina
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Comment by Natalina
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Kristin, I usually run cold....but this is getting out of hand! My g'ma does the blanket thing as well.
Comment by Lilla
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Cheryl,oops I mean Natalina,Got confuised there for a minute, sorry.
But this post reminded me of my grandmother back in the *old country,* who used to really freak out if the beds wern*t made, running around the house in a panic; yelling. .
*You must make your bed in the morning, before the devil climbs into it!*
Whatever that means?
That picture holds about 2,000 words I think?
Lilla ...
Comment by Natalina
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The devil might come to bed with me?!?!? Maybe I will make it then...or not
Comment by Cheryl J
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Oooh, we've gone to second base! Lucky we live on opposite sides of the globe or there's no telling what would happen hahahahaha
Comment by Natalina
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A. I WISH I were in my twenties! I am in my thirties, silly goose!
B. So, is second base fantasizing about each other showering in a handicap equipped shower? Cause if it is.....ohhh yeah baby!
C. Don't forget our plans to meet in Egypt in 2010...Giza won't know what hit it! Heeheehee!
Comment by Cheryl J
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I just went our for an amazing dinner for one of my best bud's 40th birthdays, we were in a private dining room with 280 degree views of Sydney Harbour. I wish you could have seen it! I fell in love with my city all over again until, on the way home in the cab, I went past what looked like a stabbing and cops were capsicum spraying people. Right now I wish I was in North Dakota. Terrible end to a beautiful evening.
We may have to pick somewhere other than Egypt, I don't think my Celtic skin could take that sun! I'll just become one giant freckle...I guess that's one way to look like I have a tan
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Natalina
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"People are strange...when you're a stranger...."
Cheryl, I'm glad you had a fun night and I'm envious. Sadly, we just had 2 escaped convicts on the run and a double homicide here in ND, so I guess this whole world's gone mad.
Comment by Cheryl J
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OK Natalina you win. I don't want to go to North Dakota but not because of the crime, we have plenty of that here but it snows and as you've posted about, it also floods. Think I'll stay here.
I also just saw how incredibly late it is. I think I've sobered up enough now to go to bed without it spinning. I need my beauty sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Comment by Janice M Cali
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Janice
Comment by Natalina
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Thanks for the compliments on my writing. I like to think that I have a fairly unique writing voice, however when I re-read my posts, I generally get the vibe that I sound like a raving lunatic. Which is probably accurate!
Cheryl, you wouldn't like the weather, especially since I get the impression that you are a tiny little thing. You would need to develop some of the traditional ND padding. I carry most of mine in my butt, which is why it gets so sweaty! Ha! Oh yes, and the spring flooding is tiresome. It's funny that I have seen so much water in my life, and yet I've never touched the ocean. Someday. At least I don't have to worry about sharks. Just monsterous cat fish. Which taste really good fried in cracker crumbs and butter, btw.
Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth
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Comment by Janice M Cali
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I live in NE Texas where Catfish is considered a dish that must be served for most events (which I don't agree with) but one of the things popular here in the south is Catfish Noodling. If you want to see what size a catfish can really get to go to the following link. These people, btw, are crazy, but that's just me.
Your text goes here
Or you can type in "catfish noodling" at YouTube.
As to living in ND, better you than me. While I'm no delicate Texas Rose, I've lived in the North and winters are just way too much for me. 80's sound good for summer, especially when you compare our normal spring days of 85 and right now 90 . Not my ideal spring either. Ahh to travel.
Janice
Comment by Natalina
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Janice, that video was priceless! Now, I've never gone a-noodlin', but that may be because the Red River is so gross you'd be insane to actually swim in it. Lots of industry here, and the runoff goes straight into the river. There are only certain times of the year when the Red is considered safe, and during that time we have what's called "Catfish Days". I've seen some giants!
I've heard stories about the Dam on Lake Sakakawea, near where I live, not connected to the Red. When the dam was being built, there were divers that had to go underwater to assist with the construction. They came away with stories about catfish that were as big as a full grown man. These may be "fish" stories, but those suckers can get HUGE!
In the summertime evenings, you can walk over the bridge that is just a block from my home, look down into the water, and see schools of catfish that surface to eat the bugs skittering about on the water. It's fascinating!
Comment by Natalina
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Comment by Janice M Cali
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Yes, we have big bugs, my least favorite is called a water bug? but in reality is nothing more than a huge cockroach, stangely enough they are less repulsive than the smaller ones. I think they are a separate species. As to spiders, we have our share but the small one to watch out for here is the Brown Recluse. It hides, is usually small (although I've seeh massively large ones) and has a bite that will eat right to the bone if left untreated and hurts like crazy.
Then we have snakes, my least favorite, name a snake an we probably have it, or a cousin. Ugh!
So, all in all, I'd rather live in northern Canada, Alaska or somewhere it gets really cold a lot, but I hate the cold, so what can I say?!
Janice