Stood Up
March 5th 2008 02:17
So today I was stood up. Not by a boyfriend or a lover (I’m married for goodness sake!) but by a girlfriend, and no, I don’t mean of the lesbian variety, I mean of the good old-fashioned “friend that is a girl” variety. So her and I had planned this catch-up at my place last weekend. It’s something we do every six weeks or so. She comes over to my place with her daughter and dog, her daughter and dog and my dog run around my lounge room madly, wildly, whilst my friend and I endeavor to have an adult conversation over the sound of dogs barking and her daughter screaming gleefully. Its not the most relaxing Sunday afternoon experience but you know, I tolerate it because she’s my friend and I want to see her.
So, she sent me a text message at 2pm saying “are we still on for 3pm?” I text back straight away “most definitely, see you then”. I’d spent the morning cleaning and tidying, as I like my house to look spick and span when I have visitors so I was glad she wasn’t baling on me.
Let me set the scene for you; my friend is a free spirit, she’s very random and quirky and that’s what I love about her. A downside of having such left-field personality is that she’s also the most hideous timekeeper you’ve ever met. Once she was supposed to be at my place at 3pm and she showed up at 4.45pm. I was just about to call her to say, “forget it!” but she showed up on the doorstep panting with some silly explanation. I even once tried a new technique in the hope she might show up on time. I told her a time 30 minutes earlier than usual but it didn’t work; she was still an hour late.
Naturally I wasn’t expecting her to be on time today so at 3pm I logged onto the Internet and busied myself by checking my mail and my Facebook page. At 3.15pm my husband made a sarcastic remark, “wasn’t your friend supposed to be here at 3pm?” he thought it was hilarious! “Haha”, I said and made a face. At 3.30pm I still wasn’t much worried, as I know what she’s like, so I continued to surf and think about what post I should write next. At 3.40pm I got a text message. When I heard my phone beep a little bit of dread crept into me. I had a bad feeling that it might be her, and it was. She said she was so very sorry but she wasn’t going to be able to make it…blah blah blah. And the rest is history, as they say. So I’d effectively wasted my Sunday; I cleaned the house for her coming and waited around till 3.40pm, only to be told, “I’m not coming”. Yeah I was pissed, very pissed. I work full time you see, so my weekends are very, very precious. Anybody with a full time job will know what I mean. We work hard to get two days off and to know you’ve basically wasted one of those two days is a big bummer. As always, when things like this happen, my husband bares the brunt of my rage, the poor bugger. So yeah I kicked and scream and cried…ok, that’s an exaggeration, but I was mad. It’s my bad that I let things like this get to me. I basically let it ruin the rest of my day, what was left of it, and put me in a really bad mood. I still am yet to text my friend back as I don’t think what I’ll say will be nice. Lets just say that its my birthday dinner in two weeks time and she’d better be there, if you know what I mean!
Let me set the scene for you; my friend is a free spirit, she’s very random and quirky and that’s what I love about her. A downside of having such left-field personality is that she’s also the most hideous timekeeper you’ve ever met. Once she was supposed to be at my place at 3pm and she showed up at 4.45pm. I was just about to call her to say, “forget it!” but she showed up on the doorstep panting with some silly explanation. I even once tried a new technique in the hope she might show up on time. I told her a time 30 minutes earlier than usual but it didn’t work; she was still an hour late.
Stood Up
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One of my friends stopped being friends with a mutual friend because he was also late and sometimes stood us both up - but hey some people are just like that and I always give people leeway - scratch the surface and there's always some underlying reason why they didn't get back to you
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I can relate. I also go to a lot of trouble when friends come over and when it doesn't happen it seems like such a waste of time, as well as being disappointing and frustrating. I reached the same point with a friend of mine a few years ago and decided that if she couldn't be bothered to turn up, or let me know ahead of time (this kept happening), then she had little regard for me, so I let the friendship go. It took me a while to get to that stage but I’m glad I did it. She simply wouldn’t turn up to things!
I'm happy to bear with friends as stuff happens, especially with children and life being busy nowadays, but it's a two-way thing. I think how you are told makes a big difference too. I have a friend with a baby who is always running late, but she lets me know as soon as possible and is always aware of how it affects me. So I bear with her, plus I love our friendship and her. A lot comes down to respect and acknowledgement of effort.
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