Unintentional Designated Driver
May 14th 2009 23:21
Last night...this morning actually, around 2:00 am, I was feeling antsy. So, I decided to get in my car and go for a drive.
Generally, my drives go no where in particular. I just put on some tunes, roll down the window, and cruise around. Better yet, sometimes I drive about town listening to talk radio. I know. Party animal!
This night, since I knew I had no plans to stop anywhere, I even decided to be really wild and crazy, and I didn't even bother to get dressed. Ok, what I mean by that is that I was wearing my pajamas. I was clothed, just not properly.
As I cruised around, I had to drive through the downtown area where all of the bars are located. It was just bar closing time, so there were young people everywhere.
I pulled up to a red light, and decided it was time to pop in a new CD. As I flipping through the stack of music, and periodically looking up to see if the light was changing, something odd happened.
Someone opened up my car door and got inside! I turned and looked at him and asked, "May I help you?"
"I need a ride home," he slurred.
Yes, the alarm bells were going off. Yes, I was a little scared. This was a big fella in a very advanced state of intoxication. So of course I replied, "Where do you live?"
I'm such a spazz. I could have told him No Way! Get out! Not me, in my moment of panic, I pretty much invited him in. He started to tell me where he lives when the light turned green. Well, I'm stuck with him now. There was no way I could overpower him to push him out of the car, so I just started driving.
At this point, I determined that I was going to just drop him off at the gas station. As I approached, he said, "Boy, I'm worried about how I'm going to get back to get my car in the morning."
This is how my brain works. I was so impressed knowing that he had driven to the bar and was conscientious enough to realize that he was in no state for driving himself home. So, I repeated, "Where do you live?"
I'm going to cut to the chase here. He lived about 15 miles outside of town. And yes. I drove him all the way home. At one point he turned to me and said, "How do I know you?" to which I replied, "Well, I was sitting at a stop light and you got into my car and now I'm driving you home. That's our history thus far."
Then he said, "Man, that's fucked up." That just made me laugh and I told him that yes it was pretty damn messed up. He then inquired as to why I didn't have any pants on. "It's a night shirt. My pajamas." It was around this time when I realized I didn't have any pants on, and that I was in my pajamas. It wasn't obscene or anything, it's a long shirt, but awkward, nonetheless.
The only point where I got a little nervous was when he started to repeat, "You're so pretty" over and over again. At least five times. This of course when I was out in the middle of no where, my headlights being the only ones on the highway.
We finally got to his place and he sloppily grabbed my hand. He said. "I aprisssheeate you verrry mush". I told him it was no biggie, and he started to get out of the car. Before closing my door all the way he turned and said, "Can you pick me up in the morning?"
I stared at him for a minute and then just said, "Nope".
He gave me a not so graceful high five and went inside the house.
Perhaps next time I'll lock my door.
Generally, my drives go no where in particular. I just put on some tunes, roll down the window, and cruise around. Better yet, sometimes I drive about town listening to talk radio. I know. Party animal!
This night, since I knew I had no plans to stop anywhere, I even decided to be really wild and crazy, and I didn't even bother to get dressed. Ok, what I mean by that is that I was wearing my pajamas. I was clothed, just not properly.
As I cruised around, I had to drive through the downtown area where all of the bars are located. It was just bar closing time, so there were young people everywhere.
I pulled up to a red light, and decided it was time to pop in a new CD. As I flipping through the stack of music, and periodically looking up to see if the light was changing, something odd happened.
Someone opened up my car door and got inside! I turned and looked at him and asked, "May I help you?"
"I need a ride home," he slurred.
Yes, the alarm bells were going off. Yes, I was a little scared. This was a big fella in a very advanced state of intoxication. So of course I replied, "Where do you live?"
I'm such a spazz. I could have told him No Way! Get out! Not me, in my moment of panic, I pretty much invited him in. He started to tell me where he lives when the light turned green. Well, I'm stuck with him now. There was no way I could overpower him to push him out of the car, so I just started driving.
At this point, I determined that I was going to just drop him off at the gas station. As I approached, he said, "Boy, I'm worried about how I'm going to get back to get my car in the morning."
This is how my brain works. I was so impressed knowing that he had driven to the bar and was conscientious enough to realize that he was in no state for driving himself home. So, I repeated, "Where do you live?"
I'm going to cut to the chase here. He lived about 15 miles outside of town. And yes. I drove him all the way home. At one point he turned to me and said, "How do I know you?" to which I replied, "Well, I was sitting at a stop light and you got into my car and now I'm driving you home. That's our history thus far."
Then he said, "Man, that's fucked up." That just made me laugh and I told him that yes it was pretty damn messed up. He then inquired as to why I didn't have any pants on. "It's a night shirt. My pajamas." It was around this time when I realized I didn't have any pants on, and that I was in my pajamas. It wasn't obscene or anything, it's a long shirt, but awkward, nonetheless.
The only point where I got a little nervous was when he started to repeat, "You're so pretty" over and over again. At least five times. This of course when I was out in the middle of no where, my headlights being the only ones on the highway.
We finally got to his place and he sloppily grabbed my hand. He said. "I aprisssheeate you verrry mush". I told him it was no biggie, and he started to get out of the car. Before closing my door all the way he turned and said, "Can you pick me up in the morning?"
I stared at him for a minute and then just said, "Nope".
He gave me a not so graceful high five and went inside the house.
Perhaps next time I'll lock my door.
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Comment by shadowmoon87
And that's a quite interesting way to meed people, not the safest but still interesting.
Next time you could, in fact, lock the door and also put some pants on. I guess it'll be safer.
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
But, yes. It is one way to make for a memorable first impression!
Good to see you! I'll be over to your site to check out your latest papercraft projects shortly!
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Firstly though, you are very lucky! Too many fruitcakes out there! And you were dressed in PJs. Crazy. I wonder how often that happens in my city?
Secondly, I might just have to steal your crazy tale for a screenplay of mine!
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
You're welcome to it, as long as I get a cut of the massive royalties that you'll surely be collecting thanks in part to my stupid yet entertaining antics! lol
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
It was a truly bizarre situation. I'm glad I lived to tell the tale!
Comment by skoop
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
I'm glad you came away from your adventure unscathed and wiser.